Dear Alien...Still Waiting

03/23/16

Dear Alien,

I'm still waiting to hear from the doc.  I called to try and get my results but they didn't have them yet and now I'm afraid that they got them and don't want to call me back because it's not the news I want to hear.  I'm trying to make myself be okay with bad news.  It's so hard.  It's so so hard.  The constant stream of disappointment.  I'm trying to be okay with it because the end result leads us to you and I don't want any baby but you.  So if this isn't the month you enter our world, I don't want this month to be it anyway.  If I say it enough, I will believe it.

Sorry for the double letter - there is no one else I can talk to about this right now out of fear of upsetting others.

I love you,
Mom

ps - Also promising myself Keratin treatment and hot yoga on Sat as a concilation prize.  Also, i would get to go in the steam room and sauna for the girls' spa trip on Sat night.  Woo.  Hoo.